Are You Controlling Your Life?

"I bargained with Life for a penny,
and Life would pay no more,
however, I begged at evening,
when I counted my scanty store.
For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
but once you have set the wages.
why, you must bear the task.
I worked for a menial's hire,
only to learn dismayed,
that any wage I would have asked of life,
Life would have willingly paid."

Jessie B Rittenhouse

It is a shame that more people don't understand the meaning poem this and the control they have over their own life and destiny. It seems that most people are some how comfortable being miserable, in the life that they have chose and continue to choose for them self. There are so many people with completely able body and mine, that have paralyzed them selves by believing that the life that they are living is not in their own control. Meanwhile, there are physically and mentally handicapped people that are doing amazing things, simply because they have chose their own direction and strive everyday to achieve more.

The only difference between that have's and have not's is how they manage or fail to manage the six inches between their ears. If you are not where you want to be if life, YOU have the power to change your reality. There are a lot of tools, books, and people that can help you once you have made the decision to change your course.

The first step is to believe in your self and have a esire to manage the Little Voice in your head.

Who Do You Spend Most of Your Time With?

Are you putting your self in a winning environment?


The quickest way to change your life is to change your friends and associations.  There is a lot of people that I talk to that are really trying to better their life and become more successful, but they continue to hang out with the same people that they always have, so that get the same results they they always have.  I have heard that your success level is the average of the 6 people you send the most time with.

A funny thing about human nature is that most people, at least on a subconscious level, will try to hold the friends and family to their own level success and understanding rather than assisting them to rise up to another level.  If a person hears about or has an idea that might propel him above the people he most associates with, and then goes to these people to advise him on what to do with this idea, those people will probably shoot down that idea as risky or unproven.

A funny thing that  I learned is that you can put one crab in a pan or container with short sides on it and that crab will easily crawl away.  But when you put two or more crabs it that same containment, none of them will ever escape because if one tries to leave the others will always hold them back.  Humans are not that much different.

Look around you.  If you are driven to be more successful and you are that most successful person in you group of friends and associates, you have a problem. I order to break free and continue your assent to your goals, you may first need to find new friends and associates that are at a higher level that you are, so that they can bring you up to their level.  Change can be uncomfortable, but if you continue to live in the same environment with the same people and associations, you will probably keeping getting the same results, regardless of your desires.  Find and associate with people that are moving up in the same direction as you desire and life will be much easier.

What is your MISSION?

So many people and companies are unclear or unfocused on what their MISSION is or should.  Whether it is there personal life, the company that they have built, or are working for, most are just trying to survive this month so that they can get to the next month, and have a no bigger MISSION to work toward. We all need to figure out WHY we are doing what we doing, so that we can stay on purpose.

I have been guilty of operating without a MISSION for most of my life, until not all that long ago.  I worked for other companies as well as my starting my own, that had no clear MISSION.  I made a lot of money most the time, but I never really knew WHY I was doing what I was doing.  I just got up every day and did the things that I thought would make me money.  I never took the time to see if I had a bigger purpose than money.  The problem I had, as well a lot of other people and companies out there, is that when the economy changed, I did not have a bigger MISSION to carry me through and keep me focused. 

It took a while for me to understand just how important having a clearly defined MISSION, other then momentary gain really is.  The greater the good or the more people that benefits from you fulfilling your mission, that greater the compensation you will receive. 

I am now part of a team that's MISSION is to "Improve the quality of life for everyone, through transformation of the marketplace".  As we help businesses operate more efficiently, there is less stress in the owners and employees lives, the business can grow and hire more people and both the employees and the owners families have a better lives and more money to spend, which helps the economy.  The bi-product of us fulfilling our MISSION is that we get paid.  The better we deliver on our MISSION, and better the world is and the better we are compensated by the world.

If you don't currently have a MISSION that keeping you moving forward and helping others everyday, find one.  Either find a company or oragization that has a MISSION that resinates with you, or take the time to create you own MISSION statement that benfits others through a sercive or product.  Once you get on MISSION and on purpose, and start fofilling on that MISSION, the money or confensaton will start to roll in.  It may own start as a trickle, but if you stay on purpose, it will turn into a flood.

What Are Your Strengths?

Are you playing to your strengths or trying to fix your weakness?

I seems that so many people in the world are spending most if not all of the time trying to fix their or somebody else weaknesses, and wasting a lot of time and energy in the process. One of the first things that people need to be able to differentiate is what is a skill and what is a personality trait. I have heard some people say that it is not their personality to be good at sells, the problem is that they are confused, and their life usually shows it.

The number one SKILL that any person needs to have to be successful in life is the ability to sell and communicate a message well. Now depending on what your personality type is, should determine how, what, and where you sell, and what communication style works best for you.

The same thing is true when managing or interacting with other people. Whether it is at your job, your business, or with your family, stop trying to change a persons personality. Find out what they are good at, what their communication style is and help them work to their strengths and stop wasting time trying to change their natural weakness and personality traits.

The purpose of dating, job interviews, networking, and socializing should not be to see if you can change some body's personality and character traits into the best ones for the job, relationship, or customer that you are seeking. It should be to 1st judge whether or not they are a good fit or complement the position, and second to see if they mesh with the goals or mission.

There are lots of different personality, language, and communication assessments out here that you can take that will help you identify your strengths and weakness. Use the results of these assessments to maximize your strengths and stop working so hard on your weakness. Stop trying to drive a square peg in a round hole. There are a lot of different shapes out there, so once you find where you belong, everything else will be much easier.

How Do You Position Yourself?

Are you trying to be Wal-Mart or Saks 5th Avenue?

So many people that I talk to are confused about the value of them selves, their products, and their services. They offering the "greatest service or product" in town, at the "a very low price". The Problem with this offer is that most people, at least on a subconscious level, believe that a higher quality product or service should have a higher price tag, therefore and higher value. They create a paradigm where a potential customer's subconscious says that it is not possible to have the best products and service at the lowest price. They are shooting them selves in the foot by confusing their potential customers, and most people don't buy when there are confused about the value of a product or service.

Look at Wal-Mart verse Saks 5th Avenue? Both of these companies are long time successful retails that sell clothes among other things. Wal-Mart's message is very clear, the lowest prices always. With this message, they are targeting only the middle and lower class that are price conscious 1st above all other concerns. There is no confusion. If price is your number one buying decision, Wal-Mart is your store. The problem for most sales people and small businesses adopting is model, is that you have to sell a lot of volume to make a decent profit. And in many cases, they are competing with Wal-Mart.

We usually recommend the Saks 5th Avenue and stop competing on price. Build the VALUE and and get paid according to that VALUE. Sure, you might have a fewer number of customers to start with, but they are going to be the type of people and companies that understand VALUE and are willing to invest in it. By holding yourself, your services, and your products to a higher standard, you will weed out many of your time robbing, life draining, low margin customers, and increase profitability.

I know what the Little Voice in your head just said. It said that this is a different economy everybody is competing on price. The reason that 5% of the population, controls 95% of the wealth in the world is because the 5% understand that VALUE is more important then price. If you do some research you will find the many of the most powerful companies in the world, got powerful in a recession. A lot of it had to do with knowing how to position VALUE 1st.

Something to think about. You can either have lots of price conscious customers or a few less VALUE conscious customers. You have have to pick one or the other. Trying to go for both confuses everybody.

My choice is, a few less customers, with higher VALUE, higher margins, and high profitability which means less headaches and more time to do the things I love to do.

Capital Gains vs Cash Flow?

Are you investing for capital gains or for cash flow?

A lot of people only invest for capital gains mostly because that is all that they are aware of. Investing for capital gains is similar to gambling in that an assets will appreciate and you will be able to capitalize on the gains. The problem is that every assets value fluctuates biased on the the the markets demand. As many want to be investors as well as some long time investors found out when the housing bubble burst, that values are not biased on facts, but biased on others investing for capital gains. When the momentum stops, a lot of people loss.

Investing for cash flow means that you value an asset biased on it's ability to generate cash, every month, every year. People that invest for cash flow, buy assets with the understanding that it will make them money now, and then if they ever sell it, maybe it will be worth more than. Warren Buffet said that his ideal time to hold a stock is forever. Why would you sell an asset that makes you money every month?

When you a investing you money, your time and your energy, look at the cash flow of what you are investing in. If you do you job the right way the first time, you can get paid forever, and over and over. If all you ever invest only for capital gains, when you do your job once, you only get paid once. Whether it is a business, real estate or the the stock market, look for cash flow first and capital gains second and get your self out of the rat race.

What is Holding Your Contents?

How strong is your context?

Most people are running their life, their career, and their business only really focusing on the content, but never taking the time to build or strengthen the context.

When we talk about context verses content, think about a cup that holds a liquid. The cup it self is the context, while what the cup holds is the content. The context are the rules, bounties and limitations that hold together and ultimately determine the integrity of the context.

If you have a weak context, like a Styrofoam cup, and coffee inside that cup, the coffee is much more venerable to external as well as internal forces than if that coffee was is a metal lined, insulated, travel mug with a good base, lid and a handle. The foam cup and be crushed, tipped over or melted very easily compared to a good travel mug. The coffee in the mug will stay in the cup, hot, and fresh through all sorts of bumps, and chaos, while coffee in a foam cup, in the same chaos will get cold, split and contaminated.

In a business, the business entity, the rules, the mission, and the leadership are some of the parts that make up the context. The employees, money, products and services, systems and technology are parts of the content.

If in you life or business, you find that employees, customer, relationships, and money are not working the way you want, leaking out, or are in a constant state of chaos, take a look at the strengthening the CONTEXT that you have or have not set. Once you get the right context in place, everything else works a lot better.

Stop Avoiding Emotional People!

Are you trying avoid people that are in a high emotional state, like when they are angry or upset? If you are in sells, you are missing a huge opportunity to put money in your pocket by helping people feel better. Most people buy based on emotion. They may not buy your product or service on emotion, but they will by you if you can handle the situation right.

If you find your customer or prospect in an emotional state and you can help them get to a better emotional state, you will gain credibility with them because you helped them feel better. Think about this, most people will avoid other people that are upset or angry and hope to get back with that person when they feel better. If you are the one person who can stand in the heat and help them deal with the anger or the upset by genuinely caring about them, you will have proven your ability to raise above everybody else that was avoiding the situation, waiting for it to change.

If you want drastically increase your ability to sell, and have better relationships with your friends, family and significant other, figure out how to help people feel better about them selves by helping them confront their emotions. For most you, it will require some training and personal development the get comfortable and competent with dealing with others emotional states, but the personal and monetary gain will be huge.

Are You Talking or Communicating?

"True communication is the response that you get." Blair Singer

A lot of people think that they are communicatingh because they are talking to, texting or emailing other people. The reality is in a lot of cases, is that no body is listening, no body understands, or no body cares about what you are saying.

I have a client that owns an independent food service shop. He complained on many occasions that a lot of his customers were stupid because they could not find the menu board or they could not understand what the menu was actually saying. In this business owners mind, his communication was clear, but the responce from the public was that of confusion.

We this business owner finally changed some of the layout, language, and most of all, where in the shop the menu board was located, sales went up about $1500 in a 20 day period.

The main problem with most people's communication is that they never take the time to test whether it is being received as they meant it. When you send out a communication, whether it is visual, verbal, or textual, immediately start asking questions to gauge how people are understanding you communication. In many cases, you will find that you are not a clear as you thought you were. If you never take the time to stop and ask though, most people are not willing to stop and tell you they don't understand what you are trying to say.

If you want to increase your income immediately, start asking and listening to your customers, your employees and your spouses so that you can actually communicate on the level you think you are.

New Year, New Mindset?

How Many of You just made the same New Years Resolution you have made before but failed to follow through with before?

Maybe the problem is not what you wanted to start doing, it is that you are still BEING the same person, but you are trying to DO something differently. Mostly people are and will continue to operate their lives unconsciously, because they are trying to changing things like great thier body into bettet shape, get a raise in pay, or have more friends, but they are not consciously BEING the kind of person that has a fit body, THINKING like a champion in the field, or BEING the kind of person other people want to hang around with.

Why is it that most Lottery winners end up more broke or in more debt a few years after winning a huge chunk of money? It is because they are still BEING the same person, in their mind, as they always have been, they just temporally HAVE more resources. More money almost never solve money problems. Having a better financail MINDSET is what solves money problems.

Thing about it. Most people follow the same life cycles because how they are in their MINDSET never really changes that much. For the sixty or so years after high school, most people work hard to HAVE a better job, so that they can HAVE a better house, and HAVE better cars and HAVE a better life. At the end of their life they are still living pay check to pay check even thought the pay checks got a lot bigger.

This year, if you want to HAVE more time with your family, if you want to HAVE a more fit body, if you want to HAVE more wealth, make sure that your New Years Resolution focuses on who you have to BE, from a mind set perspective first. Make 2010 a truly new year by changing your mind set, after that the HAVING what you want will be easy.